Many a times, we’ve found ourselves stuck in situations because we don’t know where are we heading! We are compelled to deal with things that we dint expect in general! One such things in handling toxic parents!
Not all, but many of us have experienced parents being toxic, somehow, for no specific reason at all! Sometimes it’s because we’re not what they expected us to be, other times it’s because they had different perspectives, most of times, I know, it’s wierd, but hey, it’s true! It’s because they don’t know how to be with us!
Now, all of this is a very sensitive issue for us because we’ve never expected *parents* to be that toxic with us! Because they’re the ones who decided to bring us on this planet! But somehow, they screw up and none of the parties understand it, neither the parents, nor the children! What happens with we live with this toxicity of parents? Here are some points listed below, from my experience!
1. They see the world through traumatized lenses! Kids who have toxic parents don’t usually have a very healthy environment while they grow up! They tend to feel scared and at risk all the time!
2. They don’t know who they are, where they belong or what they want to do with their life for a long time… maybe till their mid 30s!
3. They strive to become independent! They want to be self-sufficient because when they needed, their parents weren’t really there for them!
4. They don’t trust people easily! After getting hurt after hurt from their parents, it’s difficult for them to trust and consider anyone as their confidant! They choose to stay alone and mind their business because they fear getting the same hurt!
5. They are always insecure, unstable and have a negative self image! The reason of this is, no one was there in their foundation years to hand-hold them and to let them know, they are the best and that they will do well in life!
So, how do one get over this? Does it mean that because our parents are toxic, we live our whole life like that? No! These things can be worked on and healed through many ways! But first you need to start working on your confidence and self worth! Yes, it is very important! But how would you know after so many years if your parents are toxic too? Here are some signs!
1. They rarely appreciated you! But always underestimated you!
2. They never let you speak, controlled you, never bothered how you felt! Made fun of you, never gave a listening ear to you!
3. According to your parents, you’re always wrong and they’re always right!
4. They get offended if you take a stand for yourself or if you say/do the right thing!
5. They never consider you an equal, no matter what your age is!
Does this mean, having toxic parents only has bad side? No! It comes with it’s own beauty! People who have toxic parents are the ones who are used to tough love! So here are some good sides of being with toxic parents and mind you, you really should thank your toxic parents for this!
1. You become way more resilient!
2. You become emotionally very strong and mature very early in life!
3. Separations or break ups don’t have any impact on you!
4. You face bad times easily and with your inner strength! And children of toxic parents are usually self made!
5. You become more practical and compassionate in life which helps becoming successful faster!
You see, toxicity is the price we pay to become what you’re meant to be in your life! It leaves you aimless initially but also teaches you to discover your own life purpose in your own way!
I hoped this blog helped!
Goddess bless & take care!
Rabnoor ♥️